Match Report 5

Date: 05/03/06

Location: The NTU small side field which was made smaller by the inconsiderate crickets.. I mean cricket fuckers, I mean players.
I cant agree more man... Those sonnawabeeteches... taking up so much space on the field(s)... Why cant they juz take up DOTA and start playing at their comps peacefully and all...

P.S: This could well be the 1st time I've seen The "Negotiator" failing at negotiating... LmaO!

Time: 930-ish. Cos lim bei was late. And I was ferrying Ed the halal pig and Weitian the new signing.
That noob Timmy actually did a BerD... Not responding to calls, SMS and watever means of communication... Eh bro... Juz a word of advice: If you cannot tahan the CPZ... Juz stop lor... I mean not everyone got that kind of stamina to last de...

On a more serious note, your failure to turn up on time really caused us quite a bit of embarrassment you know anot... Towards the end, the general concensus agreed by all RECCOS members present was to start with 9 men. I dont blame Mokielele for lashing out at you when you arrived man... Cos I think he understood the pain of organising a game and having to deal diplomatically with the opponents... Basically... YOU NOOB!

Score: RECCOS 4 - Berd's Friends 4

Scores: RECCOS - Weitian, Weitian, Weitian, and Jase.
Berd's Friends - Dunno who the f**k score. Berd can fill this part.
Fill up this part? With pleasure!

BerD's Friends - TzeHao (OWN GOAL), Iskandar (Or however it's spelt), Joos, Yuan Hsiang

Match highlights:

-- BILLY aka Ong TzeHao SCORED A FREAKING OWN GOAL MAN WTF! THAT NOOB! Apart from celebrating and the colour of the jersey he was wearing, from the way he scored that own goal, anyone would have thought he was one of them!

-- The freaking cricket muthaf**kers. Play cricket big fuck ah? KNNBCCB, keep telling us to stay outside the flags cos we're distracting their game. FUCK lah!!! They are the ones distracting us lor. Bunch of buggers taking up so much space, hooting and cheering when their balls are floating nowhere, threathenin to call security(for fuck?!??!). CCB, our ball so big size also can hit into their side, theirs small like fuck also can't fly far, make so much noise for fuck.....
Yah balls... They should juz organise weekly Sunday morning outings to Tekka Market and whack their Nasi Brayani and their teh-tarik and leave the field to us...

-- The collapse of both our flanks. BOTH. I admit I was playing a super below-par game on Sunday(sorry Ed, I shall curb my excessive CPZ-ing) but poor Billy was simply outplayed by the opposing wingers. Thus leading the the flood of goals that came in.
Honestly, the defense was pathetic... Although the centre pair of Snake and GooSe were not up to par by their high standards, the wing-backs were practically non-existent. The crosses were flooding in from both sides and towards the end of the 1st half... The wingers were even able to cut inside and take pot shots at goal! WTF? Well... It's not everyday you see our defense playing badly so hopefully it's juz a 1-off incident!

The match also showed how weak we're with juz 4 men in midfield... Somehow or rather... We cant play 4 in midfield... From where I was standing (outside the penalty box even though I was the keeper) I could tell after 5 minutes our midfield consisting of CR (L), Beng and Mokielele (C) and YY (R) were unable to contain the opposition... Hence I took it upon my-GoSu-self to change our formation from 4-4-2 to 4-5-1... With Jason being withdrawn as striker to play a more central role, leaving Weitian at the point man up front... And of cos that tactical change proved to be masterful as Weitian went on to score a hatrick and ourselves, playing better especially in the 2nd half... Damn I rock.

-- Snake and his bleeding nipple. Actually not really. Apparently he sliding tackle some guy, the guy's trailing foot had no place to land, so lan-lan nearest flat surface to put the boots on. Snake's chest. Thereby the bleeding. But I am still amazed, how come the bleeding area is around the nipple? Snake, care to explain?
Yah I didnt see what exactly happened but... Would you like Sf to take a closer look at it? He's afterall a Medical Student...

-- Berd's cock-sure but kinda shagged run that led to Jase's goal. Berd da Anaconda managed to pick up the ball in defence, twist and turn(and refuse to pass the ball I must add) and somehow just.... manage to squirm his way through the opposition, started an uninterrupted run down the right flank all the way to midfield and beyond, passed the ball to Jase, who, in typical fashion, ran till there was no option was passing, and decided to take a shot and started praying. It seems like someone up there hasn't forsaken da Lakeside kid(yesh, must remind everyone the fact that Jase is out of the BP district. Muhahahahahaha!!!). So he scored. Us lazy buggers who refused to run managed to put up a false front and shamelessly pat Berd on the back, telling him "Good Run". I'm impressed.
I think this short paragraph isnt doing the amount of effort I put into that charge down the field any justice at all... I shall elaborate on it... I DONT CARE!

It was (probably) into the final minute of the game then when everyone else out there was too tired to run and were all resigned to losing this game... EVERYONE, but BerD. As everyone stood (lazily) around the penalty area awaiting their corner, GoSuBerD was vigilant to spot a short corner about to be taken... Racing over and catching Joos unaware by sneaking from behind his blind spot... Latching onto this opportunity of a lifetime... GoSuBerD started an UNSTOPPABLE run, equalling that of Ryan Giggs' magnificant effort displayed in the FA-Cup Semi-Final of 1999 (I think...) down the entire length of the field, skipping past 2-3 players and finally arriving at the opposition's penalty box, alone. Or so he thought. Fortunately for RECCOS, Jason, also too lazy to run back to defend, found himself in acres of space and on a full tank of oxygen + nitro (Of cos lah - he didnt have to run the entire length of the field unlike GoSuBerD...) With a perfectly weighted pass to Jason's feet... Jason was left with juz the keeper to beat. Humji-ly, he blasted it past YuanHsiang, their keeper then...

Having played such a major role in such an important goal... It was felt like bliss... Ahhh... And when those hommies paid homage to the Great One... Ahhh... CoOLnEsS!

-- Snake's 'comments'. Snake kept his cool. Exploding only on our players. Me, Billy, Ed, CR, Jase(even though the poor bugger was playing keeper, snake shouted at him to run and cover sw in midfield. I couldn't stop laughing) even Beng had a taste of the acid tongue. If it helps curbs the beast in you, Mr Snake, call us BITCHES!!!
Yah man... I was like so shocked when Snake had something to say to Beng even! "TECK BENG WAT ARE YOU DOING? PLAY PROPERLY LAH! -- MIDFIELD STOP LOSING THE BALL SO EASILY!"

Honestly ah... We're already damn shag lah deh... Wanna pass properly also hard leh... Haha even Mokielele told me halfway thru the 2nd half he's shagged can? MOK DONT BLUFF! I KNOW YOU ONE!

-- Chong Rong's cramp, which led the Sw da Regular making this kick-ass comment: "Wah CR, i think your record for RECCOS is 1 cramp per game sia, every game sure cramp one!" Totally senseless but it was pretty funny.
Haha... Yah man CR! You dont train up hor you're gonna be banished to standing in between the posts I tell you! And hor... We're really damn evil leh... People cramp liao still gotta be keeper... Damn jialat leh play for RECCOS... No welfare de...

-- Last but not least, our Hat-Trick Hero: Weitian. He has totally earned his passage(ie the free ride from CCK to NTU and back) to the game. First goal was a glancing header off a deep cross by Sw(I think) that went in ala a Darren Fletcher. Second goal was classic, a run to meet the pass, a subtle flick of the boot, and next thing we know, the ball eluded the keeper and ended up at the bottom end corner of the goal. (although the man himself confessed that he was hoping to flick the ball away from the opponents.) Hat-trick goal? Our star striker(for this match at least) received the ball, he turned the opponent, pulled back his leg, and let loose a lobbing shot that once again eluded the keeper and ends up at the back of the net. Sweet.
*Damn, I forgotten at which goal did Beng asked for the ball and Weitian just took on the world himself and scored. I think it was the last goal. Beng was humbled. Right?
Yah... But what you guys dont know is... Beng even asked me not to keep passing the ball to Weitian! He said he's always in a better position than Weitian; Beng being in-between me and Weitian and that I should have used him more for 1-2 or juz... 2. I suspect Beng isn't too fond of Weitian... Could it be Beng knew in advance of Weitian's Unholy feet aura? *Taps chin*

-- Male bonding in Jase's hall. Also via internet with Yiyuan. Those who want more details can refer to either Jase, Ed, Snake or Sw. (limbei oredi post this up liao, the rest is up to you guys...)
What male bonding? Wat's happening? Got back-breaking news never share sibo?

That's all for now folks.
Till the next match.
And BerD, you rock.

PS: Oh yah, before I forgot. One important after match incident involving Weitian, his feet, unholy smell and tons of jokes about it. Best be told over kopi....

PPS: Anyway thanks guys... For not getting into any fights... Cos they're afterall my frens also then very hard on me lah if we had gotten into a fight juz like the other time... So all and all it was a splendid match! Kudos to one and all! Special mention to xw's supervisor for scheduling him for work on that fateful morning as well... Thanks bro... Whoever and wherever you are... LmaO!